Anger re birds

So, we got a couple of chickens.

They live in our back garden, ostensibly confined to a corner with a coop. Unfortunately, despite repeated attempts to keep them in place they always seem to contrive a method of clambering onto a window ledge/cubby house/compost bin and launching themselves with a wild, ungainly flap into the garden. Here they are are free to roam and cluck and, most of all, poo away to their tiny little hearts' content. As a result, the lawn has become a no-go zone for me due to the risk of a soft grey ooze attaching itself to my feet following me around for the rest of the day.

M&Bs love them. They enjoy the notion of having pets, and make a ritual of heading into the garden to check whether they have laid any eggs that day (yes, usually).

On the other hand, I regard them as a semi-evolved pestilence, dim-wittedly squawking at me through the kitchen window as if mocking my attemps at a peaceful existence, whilst dementedly crapping all over my carefully nurtured grass.

I think we can all see who is being reasonable here.