iMeander

Federal elections just called in Oz. This means six weeks of tedious biff-bang politics followed by a 50/50 chance of ousting John Howard for the far preferable, though ominously Blair-ish, Mark Latham. I would be so chuffed if we could get shot of Howard and Bush by the end of the year.

Things that made me happy this week include:

1) Arsenal, of course
2) DVDs - Paris Texas, The Gunfighter, Orange County
3) Kelly Holmes and the 4 x 100m men's squad. Yay!
4) iPod, especially the randon play function which leads to song progressions like Sonic Youth - Dionne Warwick - Aphex Twin. Splendid, and mine, all miiiine.

Obligatory Trollope joke

Apparently the pub argument rules (see the "Rules of Engagement" posts) need urgent implementation. I just read a speech by the great intellectual that is Michael Howard MP, and apparently Britain is suffering from "political correctness gone mad". Well, thanks for that, mate. In response I would like to ask you this question - "Did you threaten to overrule him?"

I've started on a huge Trollope. No I'm not Wayne Rooney (nyuk), it's a book in my Top 100 novel thingo.

In other news, Dad is continuing to enjoy his stay, Arsenal are looking imperious at the top of the table, M is working hard on her MA and we're off to Avoca for the weekend. Oh, and I just ordered an iPod. Yip yip!

Dad's Trip

Dad arrived last week for a six week trip, which is always a pleasure. I took a few days off last week to take him around the place a bit, made all the easier by my recently achieved status as a driver. We went to town a couple of times and also to slightly less accessible places like Balmain and Wiseman's Ferry. I even got Dad to caddy for me over 9 holes, bless him.

Otherwise, not much occurring. Work is dull, M is busy and continuing to excel on her MA...er, we've got a Bonnie Prince Billy gig coming up. That's it.

(Big news possible on the horizon, though. You guessed it...I'm getting an iPod! Woohoo!)

Rules of Engagement - Supplementary

Further to suggestion from friends and other thoughts, the following additional clauses arise:

1) All John Lennon lyric quotations are banned
2) Any white, middle-class, heterosexual males who claim that they are a put-upon group to be ejected from the room with immediate effect
3) Yellow card for saying "absolutely" instead of "yes"

And not quite a Rule, but worthy of mention nevertheless:

When someone says, "I absolutely one hundred percent agree with you!", they mean "I think you are talking rubbish but (a) you are drunk and potentially dangerous OR (b) I still may have a chance to sleep with you."

Rules of Engagement

Here's something I've been thinking about for a while, following numerous pub debates and listening to Any Questions recently. Basically, its a list of does and don'ts for all good slanging matches. There's enough here so you'll get the gist, but I'm asking everybody who reads this to contribute something, and perhaps we'll come up with something definitive.

So far we have;

The Rules

1) First person to mention any of the following loses:
- Nazis/Hitler/Jackboots etc.
- Political correctness, particularly of the “gone mad” variety
- The thin end of the wedge
- Slippery slopes
2) Don’t think you’ve made a good point by making a pronouncement that nobody could possibly disagree with - “Not all Belgians are gluesniffers, obviously".
3) Kudos, but sadly no points, for sounding convincing when spouting spurious statistics - "87% of left-handers would prefer smoking in public to be banned outright".
4) Please remove rose-tinted spectacles before commencing.

Dyspepsia

Is it just me or does anyone else get their colon in a fiery twist every time they see that Coke ad with the woman singing "I Wish I Knew How It Would Feel To Be Free" and dishing out bottles of the fizzy stuff? One of the greatest protest songs ever used to prop up an amoral global corporation. What next, "Strange Fruit" to advertise a new flavour of Tango? (Nyuk)